Category: Uncategorized

Kevin had a birthday a few weeks ago and I like to mock how he has aged.  It’s all very tongue in cheek because I, myself, have another birthday approaching and am discovering bones that never used to creak, waking up with aches that are new, and of course the occasional grey hair has sprouted (only in my eyebrows, thank-you-very-much.)

In a culture surrounded by looks and accomplishments and the next trendy diet, aging can be a drag (and I mean that literally.  Walking through Wonderland is not pursued with the same speed or enthusiasm it was 20 years ago. I drag… my feet, my arms, the dislike of crowded spaces.)  When we’re younger we think, “by the time I’m 30, I’ll have done this…” or, “oh man, 45 is so old…” and even, “I’m going to have a BA in English, taken some marketing courses, own a book/coffee shop, toured Europe, a vacation home on a lake; I’ll be tall, svelte, athletically inclined, play the piano like a virtuoso, be a successfully published author, have 4 kids, 2 dogs, a cat – and my allergies won’t bother me at all!”

I recognize that there are many people who have achieved the epitome of their dreams.  They have the degrees, the family, the vacation home… but not me.  I have half the kids, half the dogs, and no cat at all (my sinuses are grateful.)  I’ll never be tall (I stopped growing “up” years ago!) My piano skills and athletic ability will never improve.  Svelte is a shattered dream, mostly because graceful is not a word ever used to describe me.

In reality, there are days I am grateful to just have survived the night, to wake up in the morning and be thrilled knowing that I have a roof over my head and food on the table.  My post-secondary education never happened, but I can laugh at the stupidest things and my heart has expanses I couldn’t imagine.  My knee may ache, my hands are scarred, and my belly sports stripes like a zebra – and I wouldn’t change it, because they mark the challenges faced and overcome, memories made, and adventures (tame as they may be) that we took along the way.

I told someone the other day that although life doesn’t look the way I thought it would when I was 11, 17, or even 21, I am happier with who I am and where I am and the people that surround me than I could have ever imagined.  I’m aging… and there is nothing I can do to stop it – time continues.   I hope that as my body continues to show some wear and tear, that my gratitude is renewed; that as my wrinkles get deeper, the depth of my love and compassion expands; that as memories fade, new special moments pop up to replace them; that my accomplishments can be measured in terms of kindness and generosity, and not just in numbers on a scale or diplomas on a wall.

When I hit 40, when I reach 65, when I find 80, my hope is that when my name is spoken or thoughts of me cross someone’s mind, that I’m thought of fondly and appreciated for warmth, integrity, and encouragement.  My story may not be thrilling, but new chapters continue to be added.  I’m grateful for the experiences and people I’ve encountered and how they’ve molded me along the way.  And I begin to recognize and acknowledge that aging truly is a treasure to be embraced and I will appreciate every beautiful moment that marks the process.

Kevin’s watching a documentary on Netflix and I sat beside him, laundry actually folded, with every intention of making a dent in my current read.  Instead, I’m gorging on Jelly Bellys (bellies?) trying to get my blood sugar up.  (I just started an OmniPod pump and it’s only as smart as it’s programming, and we’re still trying to perfect that process…)  Blood sugar levels aside, Jelly Bellys are meant to be savoured one at a time, not lobbed by the handful down the gullet.  I mean you have 20 random flavours to pull out of a tiny 100g bag.  35 beans to take your chances on with every bean in a serving.  But I made the mistake of inhaling about 15 in one mouthful, because when your blood sugar drops you may resemble a rabid ravenous wolf.  Self-control tends to go out the window when your body is trying to shut down brain function in order to keep the heart pumping – some kind of self-preservation thing, I’m sure… and Jelly Bellys were close to hand so that’s what we’re eating.  No judgement, please.

Back to that handful… 20 random flavours in the bag.  15 beans in that mouthful, give or take.  Each bean meant to be savoured individually… but I chose to scarf them.  And I regretted that choice the minute the revulsive flavour of a buttered popcorn bean mingled with the odious licorice bean beside the delightful blend of any other flavour that wasn’t either of those two choices.  I really wish I had eaten one bean at a time, not just to relish the individual profiles of my favourite beans (strawberry daiquiri) – but also to avoid the unpleasant experience that happens when one (or two) bad beans taint the pleasure of a good-tasting Jelly Belly.

Then today, I got a phone call from a stranger at our head office saying she wanted to pray with me… and her words were a lifeline and as she prayed, she quoted two of the same verses that have been floating through my mind… and I was encouraged and remembered two things:  that God’s timing is always perfect and that He is always there even in the nitty gritty details.  Wow, God!

If you know me, you know that I’m a wife and mother first and foremost.   Kevin & I will be celebrating 14 years of marriage in less than a month.   These days don’t look a thing like our newlywed years and being present is a conscious decision I have to make.  It’s easy to veg on the couch when the bustle of the day has finally died down and I get 5 minutes to myself, to tune out everyone and everything else and just be… but that often comes back to bite me in the bottom as I realise I’ve heard our conversations, but wasn’t actually there for them.  The words entered my ear canal, and then dissipated into nothingness as I didn’t actively listen and engage, only to have him say “Well, I told you….” while I look at him cluelessly not recalling a thing.  Hands up if you hear me!

I’m finding as the boys grow older and more independent, it’s been easy to get so busy that I’m not “there” for them as much.  The younger one has made a few innocuous comments lately that got under my skin – not intentionally hurtful, but in his expression I’m hearing things that have been hitting a little too close to home.  It’s easy to see the to-do list, to commit to be there for everyone, to say yes to another project, another event, another committee, another social evening… and then feel like things at home are out of control. 

“But they’re old enough to fend for themself for an hour…”
 “Well Kev can put them to bed tonight…”
 “Man, my day has been so busy I just want to disconnect…”

All these excuses and thoughts have rolled through my mind in recent weeks  Housework needs to be done.  My laundry pile is growing disproportionately to the number of people in our household.  The gardens have been overtaken with dandelions and wild raspberry vines.  If I don’t take on Project A, who will?  I even went a few days without reading…. and then I casually mention I’m not around for something, I hear a little disappointed sigh and a casually tossed out “Well, that’s nothing new.”   Ouch.  I’m acknowledging that even though they don’t “need me” – they aren’t even with me more than half the time I am home – there are moments that they still need my presence. They need to know that even if we’re not conversing, that I’m there to care… that I’m there to listen… that I’m just there.

So yesterday, after another full day, I sat in traffic due to an accident, hot and flustered, covered in bug bites from an outing with a friend, and all I wanted was 15 minutes to decompress and gather my reserves before tackling the to-do list.  And J reminded me that I told him we could go to the library and pick out things for the raffle baskets at school.  I, me, the great lover of books, dreaded the thought of another trip to town, but I knew in that moment that my word and our time together meant more than any excuse I could come up with. 

I took 10 minutes to breathe… and then we headed out and roamed the stacks, walked down every aisle in the dollar store, we giggled, we rolled our eyes at each other, and I put aside the to-do list for a couple hours and enjoyed just being with my kid.  It’s my prayer that whether he remembers that specific moment 10 years from now, he’ll remember that he had a mom who was there – who wasn’t always saying “Not now,” “Maybe later,” or “Let me finish this…” – but one who recognizes that while being productive and organized and having time for myself is important, that sometimes just being present with those we love is the most important thing, whether we’re discussing the merits of orange-grape flavoured gum over icy berry, or cuddling on the couch, or folding laundry while he prattles on about his mishap on the playground. (I admit I didn’t listen as closely as I should – it’s a flaw – I do know that it involved rocks in his pockets because he wiped out.)

So when you feel overwhelmed with the balance of motherhood, marriage, career, and life – remember that your presence is what’s important.

You’ll have to excuse me while I put this reminder into action and rearrange my schedule.

Yesterday I had the opportunity to speak at my parents’ church in Vandorf (Whitchurch-Stouffville.)  A women’s tea party had been organized and I thought it would be a great opportunity to share some of what’s been on my heart for the last few months (or years.)

As women, we are expected to juggle so many balls and judged harshly and unfairly if we can’t do it all.  We’re lauded when we’re super women, but criticized when our homes aren’t spotless, our children aren’t charming, or we don’t look our best.   What we need is to acknowledge that rest is necessary and important and that we don’t, in fact, need to do it all… let alone in our own strength.

I was nervous yesterday, but overall after watching the video my mom took, it went better than I thought.  My thoughts were *fairly* cohesive, I didn’t use too many fillers, and once I got through the first few minutes, the nerves all but disappeared.  Regardless of  how well I performed (or didn’t), the message remains true – we can only find true rest when we take time to be still and connect with our Saviour.

• If you’d like to watch or listen, the video is available on Living Water’s Facebook Page here.
• The blog post I read from December 2012 “Be Still” can be found here.
• The devotional I read from, “Breathing Room”, can be found here.
• Another devotional I used as inspiration was “Margin”, it can be found here.
• Kathryn Egly’s article, “Be Still and Know” (aka My BAD habit… and why Mary & Martha really BUG me!) that I read a portion of can be found here.
• The song I paused for us to listen to and reflect on while finding a moment of rest was by All Sons & Daughters from the 2016 album Poets & Saints.  It is called “Rest In You” and can be found on YouTube here or you can purchase it on iTunes or Google Play Music.

I hate to admit this, but my gratitude attitude is hit and miss.  I’m basically happy for all the norm – roof over my head, food for our tummies, a bed to cuddle in… but it’s not always a conscious thing.  Just is and while I appreciate things, it’s easy to dismiss them when that roof has a leak, or my cupboard looks empty and I have to wait for payday, or that mattress is lumpy and someone keeps stealing the covers at night.  I feel a bit like Goldilocks – I could be satisfied, but sometimes it’s easy to want everything “just right.”

Hey…   Remember me?  I know you thought I disappeared into the nether (we have Minecraft geeks in our house!), but I promise, I just disappeared into real life.  I have reaffirmed two things about myself:  1) I have a very difficult saying no (or not feeling guilty when I do!) and, 2) I haven’t improved my juggling skills.  I’m dropping balls left, right, and centre like it’s the coolest thing to do.

Today was a day off and with the kids back to school, it means they’re on the bus at the crack of way too early (7:30am but some of us appreciate an 8 a.m. wake up call – not because we were reading until the wee hours of the morning or anything.  Never that.)

Anyhow, once the boys were off, I tackled some Wisdom & Whimsy projects, tidied the kitchen, folded a bit of laundry, scrubbed the shower (oh how desparately that needed to be done!), washed off the paint & ModPodge, and hustled out the door by 9:30 a.m.  Woohoo, I’m a wonder!

Our church is hosting a big community dinner event tomorrow night. I was chosen to put together the centrepieces.  Fifteen centrepieces to be exact – “Easy!” I said, “Not a problem.”  I lied.  I learned two brand new things today:  1) I am not a florist nor talented like a florist, and 2) 15 centrepieces take time to assemble – like hours.  Who knew?!?  The tables look a little more pulled together though, so I guess that’s a win and I took time to chat with some of the other lovely ladies from the church who lent a hand dressing and setting the tables.

Can I stress e a point here?  Women friends are important.  The chit chat.  The advice.  I daresay even the gossip (not malicious rumour mongering, but just the catch up about what’s going on.)  Also, age? Not an issue.  You can learn so much from other women, be strengthened and inspired.  That being said, if they’re dragging you down, cut rope.  No need to drown yourself in negativity.

During our catch up I mentioned the overabundance of tomatoes from my garden.  We don’t even eat tomatoes, people!  Alas, I have tons.  I mentioned I would probably make soup for dinner.  (You can guess who’s going to complain about that, can’t you?)  One respected friend mentioned that tomato & butternut squash soup is delicious (with lots of garlic and ginger.  Don’t forget the garlic and ginger.  Her words.)  I claimed she’s a genius… because guess what else I’ve had sitting on the counter waiting to be used?!

So dinner tonight was my attempt at a creamy butternut squash soup – my take on these two very different recipes {here} and {here}, all because I was inspired by Marg.


Creamy Butternut & Tomato Soup

Ingredients:
1 butternut squash, halved & seeded
2 cloves garlic, peeled
Approx. 7 good sized tomatoes, stems removed and “chunked”  (that’s a real technical cooking term)
2 tablespoons olive oil, divided
2 garlic cloves, peeled
1 onion, chopped
2 teaspoons grated peeled ginger or 1/2 teaspoon dried ground ginger
2 teaspoons curry powder (original recipe calls for turmeric – I couldn’t find mine!)
1 tsp paprika
2 tsp dried basil
1 can coconut milk
1 1/2 cups water
black pepper, fresh ground to taste
Salt, to taste
Parmesan, fresh grated (optional)
bacon, crisp and crumbly (optional)

Preheat oven to 400F.  Cut your squash in half, cut out the seeds, and brush the cut sides with oil.  Place on a baking tray cut sides down, tucking a clove of garlic into the bowl of each half. Bake for approx. 45 minutes or until tender.   Allow to cool.  Remove and discard skins.  Reserve squash and roasted garlic.

Wash your tomatoes and remove the core.  Cut them into random chunks (quarters, eighths, whatever you feel like – it’s all going to be pureed later.)  Add to reserved squash and garlic.  Set aside.

Heat oil in a deep pot and saute your chopped onions until softened and translucent.  Stir in your ginger.  Add remaining ingredients.  Give it a stir and bring to a boil. Cover and reduce heat, simmer for 20 minutes or so.  If you have an immersion blender, now is the time to put it to good use.  If you wish you had an immersion blender (but don’t because your husband is trying to get you to spend smartly and doesn’t agree that it’s a necessity,) let the mixture cool a bit and then blend in small batches using a regular blender. Careful with hot soup and the blender.  It’s dangerous and you’ve been warned.  Not that I’ve learned from experience.  Add pureed soup back to pot and reheat to desired temperature.  Season with salt & pepper as desired.  Top with fresh grated Parmesan (we only had Gouda) and crumbled bacon if you desire.

Serve with grilled cheese (because, you know, tomato soup!?!)  Ignore the complaints coming from your picky eater and enjoy the savoury wonder that you whipped up with fresh local produce – maybe even from your own backyard.  Dinner is served – thanks, Marg!

P.S.  This recipe was approved by 3 out of 4 mouths.  Our youngest has requested leftovers in his lunch tomorrow.

We will be vacationing en masse as a family of 17 shortly.  My parents have splurged on three cottages at a lakeside resort in western Ontario and we (assorted family units spread across three generations) will be soaking up the sun, fishing off the dock, swimming in the lake, making s’mores by the campfire, and trying to give each other space when necessary.

I’m all about keeping things simple on vacation.  The cottages come with basic furnished kitchens (woohoo) but not with grills (sigh).   I’m a don’t-turn-on-the-oven type of girl in the summer – unless the temperatures have dropped a bit.   We don’t have air con in our home at the moment and these days that feel like 40C leave you sweltering.  *If* I even drum up the energy to cook (we eat a lot of fruit and veggies and salads and sandwiches in the summer) – if I cook, it’s done over the BBQ or involves a quick pan-fry – no fuss, no muss.    It also involves a fully stocked kitchen… and it still requires time in said kitchen.  We’re going to have to think outside the box – err… oven – for some simple to serve meals that keep everyone satisfied.

I don’t want to spend tons of time prepping while we’re away – I want it easy, peasy, but tasty and delicious.  I’m not into a week of hot dogs or sandwiches on repeat… so today I spent the morning finessing our vacation meal plan and prepping freezer meals.  All I’ll have to do while we’re away is thaw in the fridge while I’m lakeside and pop on the grill at dinnertime.  (Oh wait… didn’t I mention they don’t have grills?  Why, yes, I did!  We found a great little tabletop propane grill at Walmart on clearance for less than $20.  It will be added to our camping stash when we return.)   If I’m not grilling, I plan on plopping the whole frozen mess (mmm…. appetizing!) in the crockpot for even less work!

Here is a week (almost) of cottage meal-planning – I’ve asterisked (is that a word?) the meals I’ve prepped in advance and possibly frozen.  The odd meal I won’t prep until right before we leave, but I did a big chunk of it today.

Breakfast:

• Cinnamon Rolls* (prepared, but frozen – thaw & bake)
• Smoothies* (I froze into individual packs and will bring my personal blender along)
• Blueberry Pancakes* &  sausage (mix measured into a jar, blueberries frozen and bagged)
• Bacon, eggs, pierogies & fruit
• Granola Parfaits* (prepped in jars, granola measured in top cup)
• Breakfast Wraps

Lunch:

• Cheddar smokies & veggie sticks
• Nibblers – salami/pepperettes, cheese, fruit, crackers
• DIY subs
• leftovers / munchies

There are so many beautiful little hidden gems across the province.  We’re truly in the perfect location for day tripping, staycations, or mini-getaways.  This summer we’ve had to cut-back on our little daytime adventures.  It’s been hard balancing housework, exploration time, and a few part-time jobs.  I’m an expert juggler… well, a juggler at least.  I’ve been known to drop a ball or two before.

This summer, the kids have enjoyed time at Grandma & Grandpa’s cottage on Sturgeon Lake.  They’ve gone camping with Oma at Ontario Park Awenda.  We went spelunking (and hiking and swimming) at the Warsaw Caves Conservation area.  We’ve spent countless hours on the shores of Lake Scugog and playing in Palmer Park.  We found a fantastic deal on Wonderland tickets and wore ourselves out with sun, rides, and junk food.  This week we headed west and explored the sights (and tastes) of the St. Jacob’s Farmers Market, with a stop at the Elora Gorge on the way home.

Before the summer ends we’ll be heading east and taking some much needed R&R at the Singleton Lake Family Campground with the whole family.  Fishing, campfires, swimming, boating, cousins, laughter, and fun!!!

We’re packing what we can into our summer… and exploring new and favourite haunts along the way.  Some of our favourite Ontario gems include the Warsaw Caves, Centre Island, the city of Ottawa, Cobourg beach, Niagara Falls, and many of the quaint little towns along the smaller highways and byways.  We also like taking in the occasional Jays game – the boys are headed to their first in September!

Our must-see list includes 1,000 Islands, Tobermory, Niagara-on-the-Lake, Kingston, the Badlands, Algonquin Park (nope – haven’t done it yet!), and the Algoma Central Railway. Did you know Ontario is as big as Spain & France combined?   There’s so much to see, and do, and explore!  I know there are conservation areas and beaches and activities practically in our own backyard that we have yet to experience.  Any others we should check out?  Our list is constantly growing and changing – memories can be made in the oft-overlooked lesser-known destinations just as easily as the top tourist spots.  Summer is perfect for getting out and having fun!

A couple months ago I joined up for Steeped Tea – not because I want another “job”, but to take advantage of the consultant savings personally. (Although I *can* place orders if you want something!) The starter kit was on at a fantastic price and it came loaded with some fabulous product. 

I love tea… and I’m not as picky as some when it comes to loose leaf vs. bagged.  I still have a picky palate and I’ve come to realise my tea tastes have evolved a little over time.  I’ve been using Steeped Tea products on occasion for years since a friend introduced me to the company.  I’m also a fan of some of the Tazo varieties and my all-time-favourite tea is still the White Christmas by Stash.  It’s like a cozy sweater in a cup.  (It’s also great for soothing sore tummies with its blend of mint and ginger.)   I’m NOT a fan of most of the traditional brands, but in a pinch, they will do.   

Fast forward to now… I have a cupboard full of teas in all varieties.  Green, black, rooibos, fruit, latte blends, and more.  Unfortunately, I’m not a fan (eek!) of all the flavours I have in my tea basket.  This is expensive quality product that you don’t just want to toss if you don’t like it.   Black & green teas are not my most favourite varieties as my tastes have changed, but I’ve ended up with some in my kits…. so we improvise and try some new-to-me ideas on brewing a cup and blending to find just the right fix. 

In my ongoing ever-present quest to live a practical healthy lifestyle, I’ve cut way back on my diet pop consumption (I don’t stock it in the fridge anymore.)  We also don’t drink fruit juice (or fruity drinks) on a regular basis (and really, juice has never been a big part of our diet.)  I’ve been experimenting with my loose leafs and have found that switching up how you brew and blend can leave you with fabulous results that feed the cravings for those unhealthier choices. 

We’ve found that Justin & I enjoy rooibos blends iced (various methods) and berry fruit blends are fantastic no matter how you drink them.  I love brewing our own iced teas and I still use a simple syrup for sweetening, but my ratio of sugar to water in the syrup and syrup to water in the tea blend is minimal. 

To put it in perspective, I have read that 4 grams of white sugar (granulated) is equal to 1 teaspoon of sugar. (Side note, did you know a can of Coke gives you 11 teaspoons of sugar in one easy convenient drink???? Ick!)  I brew a jug with 8 servings of tea, with one cup of simple syrup, and approx. 2 teaspoons of sugar in my simple syrup.  So my one cup is divided by 8 servings… which means my 2 teaspoons of sugar are now spread across those 8 servings leaving me with 1/4 tsp. of sugar per serving or 1 gram of sugar per serving.  I can live with that… it’s not eliminating the sugar completely, but it’s definitely a better option without adding artificial sweeteners to the mix. 

Earlier this week I tried Berry Mania tea strong-steeped, iced, and topped with Perrier – pop with a subtle flavour – almost like an Italian soda.  Sparkling, but not overly sweet.  The bubbles hit those soda cravings without all the crap.   I’ve also been doing various teas (iced) and blended with lemonade (not the real stuff… it’s all about the small changes!) I do 2/3 tea to 1/3 lemonade ratio and serve on ice.   This works well with fruit teas… but last night I switched it up with a smooth Earl Grey de la Creme and topped with a splash of Perrier.  Wow!

Tonight I’m brewing one of my green teas. It smells fantastic but I. Don’t. Like. Green. Tea.  Until I tried a sip… mint mojito.  I’m icing it now and will blend it with my lemonade for my morning on the go drink.  Because what’s better than mint lemonade… or green tea lemonade… or mint green tea lemonade.   I’m thinking this would also be a fabulous one topped with sparkling water.   

So long story told… I’ve learned that even if a certain blend isn’t my cup of tea (we’re talking about you Banana Split Fruit Tea – ugh!), there’s generally a way to incorporate that blend into a new or tastier brew to make a cup that’s… welll… just my cup of tea.  (PS, Justin loves the Banana Split – I think it smells like Carribean rum cake and plan on using it for a Bundt cake with an infused-rum glaze.  Ah, memories of Jamaica!)

What’s your favourite cup of tea?