My No-Resolution Resolution

We have been flung full-force into real life once again. I made no resolutions this year because I’m pretty darned perfect! (I kid, people. I kid.) I made no resolutions this year because I’m honest enough with myself to know that unless they involve books, I’m probably not going to keep them, and in all honestly, my bad book habits probably aren’t going to change either. (I’m talking about my piles of unread books from years ago, but can’t walk past a bookstore or book table habit.)

We started the new year sunkissed and refreshed. I had a few very brief day-dreamy moments where I considered the possibility that maybe life would slow down a little in 2020. (Hard no.) And yet, I’m already yearning for a slightly slower pace of life. I contemplate the far off reality of retirement with eager anticipation, but I’m in no rush to get there – just rushing in general.

Today on Facebook I read this beautiful post by The Life on Purpose Movement. It struck a chord. Then I commented “Goals.” right below it, and didn’t see the dichotomy of the image and my statement until later this afternoon to much amusement. Maybe it resonated so deeply because it’s such a deep seated need in so many of our lives.

This week we jumped back into life full swing. We’ve dealt with miscommunication, misspending, and mistakes. We’ve prepared to do lists, we’ve ticked off items, we’ve created (and veered from) meal plans. We’ve tried to balance family time, chauffeuring, volunteer commitments, friendships, household routine, and when we’re tired and frazzled and empty, our relationship and our alone time.

We’re no different than anyone else, but this frenetic, constant pace of life has left me empty. Not a soul-deep, heart shattering emptiness – but after giving (and biting my tongue and just listening) and living, even though our tanks started out so full, I’m running on fumes and it’s literally been a week. I need a moment to feel, to breathe, to find my feet again.

So, no, I haven’t made resolutions on a calendar – no weight goals, no lists, no accomplishments. Instead, I resolve to continue to strive to find a healthy balance. I continue to try to see more than a list of things to be done. I will continue to prioritize faith, family, and friendships. I will learn to speak up for myself (oh the value of “no” and “no, thank you!”) I will keep my ears open to listen to others and practice the pause before responding. (I’m sorry if I fail on this one and you get the sharp edge of my temper or my tongue.)

I will find grace to forgive myself in my mistakes. I will humbly apologize when I’ve messed up. I will grow. I will change. No doubt, I will generally stay the same, but hopefully improve each day by small interactions, little blessings, and finding quiet peace in cherished quiet moments.

So what’s my view for 2020? Here’s to a happier, healthier, still-the-same-at-heart me.


Back at the beginning of January (so long ago!), I took the Dayspring 2019 Your Word of the Year Quiz. I don’t put a lot of hope and promise into these things but was interested in seeing what came up. I took the quiz again tonight (because I couldn’t remember my word – ha – apparently I need to work on retention!) Delight. My word for 2019 is ‘delight.’ I honestly thought it might be rest, or peace, or strength, but no – it’s ‘delight.’

My Word of the Year – Dayspring

I don’t associate deeply with this word. It doesn’t bring up any heartfelt connotations or even make me really truly feel like, yes, delight, it is THE word that speaks to me. It just doesn’t… but maybe I haven’t looked at it deeply enough?

I dug into the dictionary. Oxford Dictionary describes delight as both a verb and a noun, most definitions having to do with pleasure – finding pleasure in something, causing pleasure, great pleasure itself.

The synonyms, however, are what tickled my fancy!

  • please greatly, charm, enchant, captivate, entrance, bewitch, thrill, excite, take someone’s breath away
  • gladden, gratify, appeal to, do someone’s heart good, entertain, amuse, divert
  • take great pleasure, find great pleasure, glory, revel, luxuriate, wallow
  • adore, love, relish, savour, enjoy greatly, lap up
  • pleasure, happiness, joy, joyfulness, glee, gladness, gratification, relish, excitement, amusement
  • bliss, rapture, ecstasy, elation, euphoria
  • transports of delight

So maybe we can make this work? Perhaps for 2019 I can make delight my word. I can find charm in everyday moments. I can do someone’s heart good through acts of kindness. I can revel in my accomplishments and reinforced boundaries. I can savour time alone to rest and recharge. I can discover joy in my family. I can discover elation in the company of my friends. I can live in transports of delight as I walk in strength and grace and patience and revelation.

Yes, I think ‘delight’ is quite a wonderful word for 2019 and I can’t wait to find new opportunities of delight – and ways to delight others – throughout the year! And perhaps, as I look to find delight in the life I’ve been given and all of its blessings, He will delight in me, too!

Looking Back, Planning Ahead, and Being Present

I’m not big on resolutions (mostly because I am acutely aware that my staying power is laughable – good intentions and all that.)  However, I feel like I am in a constant state of assessment – what can I drop? Where can I improve? Why did I do that?  As this year comes to a close, I’m not sure I actually changed much at all over the last twelve months.  I know in some ways I’ve matured (impressive at 37 years of age!)  I know I’ve also found myself frustrated.  I’ve been craving change.  I’ve been dreaming.  I wonder about the next ten years.  I’ve tried to make small changes to improve things that I have control of.  Some days I’ve completely lost control of everything… hello, out of control spiral!

In the next year, without making actual resolution declarations, these are the reflections I’d like to embrace.

  • Simplify.  Life, home, habits.  Just stop overthinking, overdoing, and indulging in over-consumerism.
  • Find myself.  I really can’t stand that phrase, but I need to get back to being me, without apology – take me or leave me and no, I don’t care what your opinion of me is.  (Except that I do, and it will wake me in the wee hours of the night while I agonize over every inflection, look, response, or perceived slight, insult, or judgment. This is hard on a girl’s self-esteem and peace of mind, so yes, I would really like to find what makes me “me” and rock it like a pair of perfectly-fitted jeans.)
  • Move past the mistakes.  We all make them.  We’re all human.  See the point above.  At some point, you’ve just got to move on – learn from it and let it go.
  • Care for my body.  We’ve got one shot here and with Type 1, it seems like all I think about is carbs, meds, and math.  (I shudder at that math.)  That being said, we can all use a bit more movement, a bit more mental clarity, more veggies, and lots of water!
  • Just say no.  I mean… it’s hard to say yes to the important things when you’ve said yes to everything else.  Enough with being everything to everyone and feeling like I carry the weight (and success) of the world (or a program) on my shoulders only.   I’ll need to keep reminding myself of this one because honestly, I forget.  A lot!
  • Find my tribe.  I’m just full of cliches in this list.   People can drag you down or build you up.  Better to find the ones who will sharpen, challenge, and care.   You’ll know them.  You’ll click.  And then… actually make more plans to spend time and stay connected.
  • Be present.   Stop worrying about the to-do lists, the places you need to be, and the never-ending mundane bits of an active family life.   Stop and smell the darn roses.  Be in the pictures.  Read the book (without feeling guilty.)  Drink the coffee or the tea.  Eat lunch by yourself.   Cuddle on the couch.  Fold the laundry together.  Listen to the endless chatter (and absorb it – one day they won’t be rambling non-stop in the back seat.)  Make jokes.  Bake cookies.  Do the fun things.
I want to be more organized, more active, more smiley, more engaged, more productive – but ultimately, I want those I love and care for to know they’re loved and cared for, I want my self-care to be a priority, and I want to remember to practice the pause.  Here’s hoping that 2019 is just a step in the right direction!
 Happy new year, dear friends – may you find happiness in your journey, hope in the unsettled moments, love to warm your hearts, and joy in each new day!