I’m skipping meal planning for the early part of this week as we use up the fridge/freezer/pantry items on hand. Nothing to share menu-wise. Instead I’ll remind you to plan time and things that nurture your spirit and feed your soul this week. I’ll also remind you to look for opportunities to feed others – with encouragement, with love, with kindness (food is a great thing too if they contain any of the above ingredients.)
Happy Monday!
I’m going to let you in on a little secret… one of the reasons I don’t mind heading to SickKids is because of the dining options within easy walking distance. Some of the visits are so rushed that we don’t have time to eat before we head home again, or the boys are exhausted after their appointments. Other times we have to convince the kids that they really don’t want Swiss Chalet or Pizza Pizza. As they’re getting older, it’s getting easier to explore. A highlight of heading into any city that isn’t home is successfully finding a tasty place to chow down.
Our overnight trips obviously lend a little more flexibility to the experience. As long as the oldest is finished eating by 9:30pm he is good to go. This visit, we headed down Yonge Street and decided to pop into Fran’s Restaurant after it being recommended multiple times and because someone wanted a hearty breakfast for dinner. I now understand why it’s a Toronto institution. The food was tasty in a diner-classic comfort food way. No photos because my phone died, but the homefries were amazing and Kevin’s orange chicken was a flavor explosion. Kaleb cleaned his overly large breakfast off his plate.
This morning the kid had to skip breakfast, so us grown ups just grabbed Tim’s in SickKids. Meh. That’s all I have to say. In our defense we were in a time crunch and it was right where we walked in to the hospital en route to our appointment.
Once we finished for the day, the kid was hungry… but he’s also unadventurous and didn’t want to walk far. We popped into a delicious little burger joint that had amazing topping options and specialty selections. Their poutine was delicious!
Jackson’s Burger is just down the block from SickKids, steps from the Chelsea Hotel on Elm. Kev and I split the Effin’ Poutine (hey, I don’t name them) featuring jerk chicken and a Triple Threat burger. Not huge patties, but incredibly tasty with locally sourced ingredients.
Next we burnt off a few calories and grab some coffee before getting into the car. The few blocks and trips through the halls of SickKids logged in over 2.5 miles of walking!
Kev has some fabulous clients who treat him like family with coffee shops in multiple locations “downtown.” (I really don’t know all the different districts and neighborhoods!)
We pop into Mos Mos for amazing coffees and baked goods when we’re in the area. Coincidentally, today was the soft opening of their newest location at Bay and Elm, just a short block from Sick Kids. (I said on Instagram that it was across the street, but I was confused… it’s close though!) While I’ve never had a bad drink from Mos Mos, the White Lao Latte – served hot or iced – is my absolute fave – I enjoy it even more than my treat-time frappuccinos! (What is the secret???)
Finally, we needed a car snack. (In actuality Kev just couldn’t pass up Jamaican patties.) We popped intol Patties Express and grabbed a spicy beef and spicy chicken to take on the road. Perfect handy snack for sitting in traffic on the DVP.
We had plans to grab a cheesecake from Uncle Tetsu’s, but a phone call from the school during our appointment prevented any detours. Shout out to my mom who drove home this morning and back to our place again to pick up the one who wasn’t feeling well. (That’s more than 2 hours of driving – two trips in 4 hours, folks – what would we do without Omas?) We’re saving Japanese cheesecake for the next trip and will have to pick up one for her as well!
What are your favourite city dining spots? Do you have a go-to destination or like to try something different each time? Are you a T.O. local? What must-trys are within walking distance of SickKids or the Chelsea hotel? Recommendations are welcome and wanted! Share away!
I am the first to admit that we are not the eco-friendliest family on the planet. Convenience will often win in the battle against conscience. I’m notoriously bad at remembering my reusable straws. My kids still grab paper towel way more often than a rag or napkin. Guilt aside, we have made little changes to improve our footprints. This is a (very) short list of some of the eco-happy products that I’m crushing on – they were small swaps that hopefully have an impact for the greater good.
1. Beeswax Wraps {sub for plastic wrap}
A friend first told me about these a few years ago and I was reluctant to get on board. Last year, I finally bit the bullet and invested in a sample pack from Mind Your Bees Wraps, based in Hamilton. Her patterns were pretty (it shouldn’t make a difference, but I’m vain, okay?!) I fell in love.
At a vendor event I help organize every November, we invited an even more local maker, The Tacky Bee, who also uses salvaged materials as her wrap base – even better! I bought a few of her sample packs as well and gifted many of them away.
In my recent basement purge, I found some cotton fabrics I will never use for sewing (because sewing is not one of my skill sets.) We’ll be stopping at our honey producing friends in Cookstown this weekend, Dickey Bee Honey, to pick up some beeswax and I have grand plans to make my own set – I need a bigger one for casserole dishes and the like. There are a ton of tutorials available online if you want to attempt to DIY. These are an easy swap for saran and I found half a grapefruit lost to the No Man’s Land at the back of the fridge the other day – it had to have been in there a few weeks and was as juicy and delicious as the day it went it. Even J has started to reach for the wraps when he’s helping in the kitchen.
Easy to clean without harsh chemicals, no plastic waste, biodegradable when it’s life-cycle is done, and pretty enough to Insta… why wouldn’t you make the switch?
Shop Local: Mind Your Bees, The Tacky Bee, Dickey Bee Honey
2. Cloth Menstrual Pads {sub for tampons and/or disposable pads and pantyliners}
Women have been padding their panties with strips of cloth since the age of dinosaurs. Our grandmas and great-grandmas are all familiar with bulky, eco-friendly options for dealing with Aunt Flo when she shows up with a vengeance. Disposable pads were created back in the 1880s, but the industry grew by leaps and bounds in the 1980s – much to the sorrow of our landfills – and our bodies.
There are many alternatives to disposable pads and (oft-bemoaned) tampons. My first switch to a planet-happy solution was actually a cup – and I hated it. I didn’t make any more leaps until someone suggested I might have less feminine issues if I trashed the synthetic disposables. I found some organic, natural, biodegradable options on Well.ca and they were fine. I didn’t love them, but yes, my period was a bit happier.
Finally, I bit the bullet and invested in a set of reusable cloth pads from HannahPad. Once I got over the ick-factor, I loved them. I mean… women have been doing this for centuries, but these are so comfortable and better for the planet. (I mean, as comfortable as having to wear any kind of pad, amiright?)
I also found a local supplier at a vendor event who sews her own. Garden of Eden is a Canadian company (yay!) with cute print options and her pads (and nursing pads) are very well constructed. She’s also very comfortable with discussing periods with total strangers.
I’ve been thrilled with both suppliers. During each cycle, after use I rinse the pads and then soak until wash day. I use some probiotic soap to help with stubborn stains, and then just wash as usual. The dryer is not recommended, but I buck convention and throw them in for convenience sake. For panty liners, I just wash with my usual laundry.
It’s a big upfront cost if you’re comparing it to a single cycle supply of pads or tampons – think about investing in one or two at a time – and make sure your happy with the brand you’re using!
Shop Local: Garden of Eden Reusables, HannahPad
3. Mesh Produce Bags {Sub for plastic produce bags}
I have an endless supply of reusable shopping totes. It’s a little ridiculous. I could probably hand them out to people in line at the grocery store and still have enough bags left for my own haul. My problem is that I forget to bring them, but I feel guilty using plastic, so I end up buying more. I’m hanging my head in shame. The workaround to this is to empty them and leave them by my keys or shoes or purse… and store them in the car for next time around.
I have some favourite bags. I bought them online years ago when this was starting to be strongly encouraged. They’re foldable to tuck into your purse, they’re lightweight, they wash amazing, and they are so amazingly strong. If I could find more of this particular brand, I would donate all the rest and use them forever.
So I’ve cultivated a good shopping habit… but the produce department bothered me. I found some President’s Choice mesh bags inexpensively on Amazon and as long as I remember to tuck them away (or not away as the case may be), I’m golden for picking the plumpest produce and not having to pay for extra weight. These are so light and much like their above-mentioned cousins, easy to wash. Super convenient without another plastic bag to worry about. Even better, more and more makers are providing local options to source your own! If you’re anywhere near me, Fresh Off The Line has some cute ones! Now if only we could regularly find cucumber not surrounded in shrink wrap…
Shop Local: Fresh Off the Line
What are the little substitutes you’ve embraced that make your home a little more eco-friendly? We’ve also subbed harsh scented candles (i.e. BBW) for locally made, naturally fragranced ones. We reuse. We recycle. I shop second hand first, especially for the boys. Are you crushing on any earth-friendly, eco-happy changes or products? Feel free to share!
We are embarking on the next phase in our parenting journey… our oldest son is thirteen years old tomorrow! At 6:09 a.m. on October 13, 2005, we welcomed our ridiculously large child into our arms – we could almost say his enormous size was indicative of how much our hearts expanded in love. At 38 weeks, measuring 11lbs, 7oz weight, 24.8 inches in length, and a head circumference of 14.9 inches, we were grateful for a c-section (post delivery.)
Kaleb’s delivery story began with an unexpected visit to the Labour & Delivery ward after a sudden drop in blood sugar and extreme nausea in Mom the day before his birth. This was one of the warning signs we were asked to watch for in our high risk pregnancy towards the end of term. Tests were ordered, I was examined, and we proceeded with our scheduled BPP. Fortunately, our actual Ob-Gyn was on call that day and he stuck around for much longer than most doctors would to ensure he was on hand to make decisions for our care. Shortly after our first battery of tests, it was decided we would induce to reduce risks for Kaleb.
I happily proceeded throughout the day with mild, yet regular contractions. We sat in the early labour stage for a very long time. We moved from early labour to active labour… and waited… and waited…and waited. Contractions grew crazy intense, but I wasn’t dilating like I should have. I kept being told “you’ll be pushing soon!” and after every exam they’d announce with surprise that although my contractions were strong, frequent, and long, my cervix wasn’t cooperating. I was miserable overnight and still have regrets over some of the comments I made to people! Just around the 6am mark (after 19 hours in hospital) a nurse checked in, our doctor was called urgently, and suddenly I was being rushed out of the room without any real knowledge about what was going on. (Apparently I was heading to the OR for emergency C-section.) Kaleb, while responsive during most of labour, was suddenly in distress and they were concerned as his heart rate was dropping during contractions rather than elevating as they should have. The kid gave us a scare!
Fortunately, medical intervention and our amazing care team ensured a healthy delivery and we were blessed with amazing after care as well. I will admit that I do not remember most of his first hours of life due to the effects of the anesthetic and pain meds. I have funny snapshots, but no clear memories. (Someone grabbing my breast, my parents crying, laughter in the recovery room, ceiling lights, and being transferred from a ward unit to a private suite. (Worth the upgrade!)
This child of ours was a fighter from the beginning. A little stubborn. Incredibly adorable. Smiles that could melt your heart. In thirteen years, not much has changed. He’s still a fighter (not in a bad way, but if he is faced with an obstacle, he’s determined.) He’s still stubborn. You will not change his mind once it’s been made up. He’s adorable (but don’t tell him that!) His smiles still melt my heart (they’re a little further apart these days, but the genuine ones can light up a room!)
His laughter as a little guy would bubble up and overflow. He was mischievous. He talked with funny little mispronunciations. He was a monkey – climbing on, and up, and over everything. He was intelligent (and still is!) He never took to sports. He never took to books.
Today, his personality has changed but I have glimpses of the little boy he used to be and can see shadows of the man he’ll become. He’s strong and silent. He’s kindhearted and sincere. He’s logical and sensible. He’s a thinker. He likes control and routine. He likes things to be right and doesn’t like to make mistakes. He’s happier at home than out and about. He can argue like there’s a reward for it. He can bicker ’til I want to pull out my hair. He has a few close friends, but is friendly with everyone. He doesn’t feel the need to be popular. He will not be pushed around (thank goodness!) but he’s respectful even in his differences of opinions (with everyone but family, at least.) He skates by in school, but maintains As & Bs. He’s well on the way to being a successful, amazing adult.
As he goes through his teenage years there are things I want him to know – shared below in no particular order..
1) We are your parents first. We are your friends second. Those positions many times will overlap, but often our decisions as parents will make it seem like we’re not friends. We want what’s best for you, even when it seems like we’re being difficult.
2) We are always here to listen. You may not like our initial response, but I pray that we learn to temper our conversations with wisdom and grace. I pray that you come to us with problems big and small. I pray that even in the midst of mistakes, you know that we are here for you.
3) Remember your manners. Hormones might make you moody. Life can be tough. You still have a responsibility to treat people with kindness and respect. Please and thank you go a long way. Open doors for people. Offer a hand when someone is struggling. Take your hat off in restaurants and in church. Answer questions politely.
4) Be kind. Don’t judge. You don’t know what anyone else is going through and you cannot control other people’s words or actions. You can control how you handle a situation. Don’t gossip. Don’t lie. Don’t speak out of turn. Don’t bully. Look for ways to offer a hand or brighten someone’s day. Even when you disagree with someone, let kindness be your model.
5) Pray. Pray with gratefulness when you’re happy. Pray for strength when things are rough. Pray for wisdom as you tackle life. Pray for friends who will lift you up and encourage you. Pray for mercy when you make mistakes. Pray for opportunities to share God’s love.
6) Choose your friends wisely. You are the company you keep. If your friends are always getting into trouble, you probably will too. It’s harder to stand up for your convictions if everyone around you is doing the opposite. Be friendly to everyone, but remember that you don’t need to be best friends with everyone you meet. Guard your heart, but be loving. Be the friend that you want your friends to be.
7) Learn some Scriptures. Cling to them. There are verses to help you through every single thing you face. Feeling overwhelmed? Find a verse for that. Feeling lonely? Find a verse for that. Fighting anger? Find a verse for that. Feeling worried? Find a verse for that. Meditate on them. Let them be a foundation for every day life.
8) Get off the computer. Seriously. Don’t let technology consume you. Get outside. Read a book. Go for a walk. Lie in the sun. Play a boardgame. Throw a ball for the dog. Go fishing. Talk to people in person. Use technology as a tool, as an escape, but DO NOT let it be everything.
9) Be generous. Share. Share your time. Share your smiles. Share your lunch. If you have more and you can help, just do it. Don’t be selfish.
10) Be wise. Save your money. Spend it carefully. Think before you act. Think before you speak. Listen. Learn. Weigh your decisions. Stand for your beliefs. Don’t be talked into a situation that makes you uncomfortable. Avoid situations that can be used against you. Protect yourself.
Enjoy the next few years, honey. As you transition from boy-child to adulthood, I know that things won’t always be easy. I know that a lot of changes will happen over the next few years. Regardless of what your teenage years look like, know that we love you! You are our sunshine on a cloudy day.
Today I was part of a group that directs fundraising dollars towards different community projects. Three organizations are nominated, presented to the group, and then we vote and the majority vote receives the fund. Three times a year we gather to make a difference. This is community. It’s laughter. It’s tears. It’s support in so many ways. Our local youth drop in program (a program I also happen to have been a part of since its inception) was the fortunate recipient of tonight’s generosity.
I am part of a community that understands the next generation is our future. That understands the generation needs a reason to hope. The next generation needs to know they are worth the investment. So we give our time. We give our money. We give our attention. We feed the body. We encourage the soul. We build the future. One life at a time.
So many times we forget about the untapped potential and amazing gift that has been given to us in our children and young people. We see the negatives. We see the immaturity. We see the difficulties and differences from our generation.
But I am thankful. Thankful that I can spend time with a group of kids that will be our future teachers, lawyers, farmers, and neighbors. I am thankful that I can learn something from the next generation if I but take the time to listen. I am thankful that my community knows that the next generation is important and valuable and worthy of investment.
“Last 90 days…”
“Final quarter”
“How will you end the year?”
Anyone else finding little reminders that 2018 is very quickly coming to a close? I’m seeing social media challenges, blog posts, videos and more about the last few months of the year with an emphasis on finishing up strong before jumping in new.
I’m climbing up on the bandwagon. This month, this quarter, I’d like to continue with my self-care, self-development, family-strengthening goals. I want to live intentionally, carving out time for certain things like rest, creativity, and evaluating paths & purpose.
For October, with Canadian Thanksgiving approaching, a child about to celebrate his 13th birthday (how did that happen????), and multiple family occasions upon us, I will focus on being thankful.
I will spend time each day with a pen & journal to jot down the small things I can appreciate, rather than focusing on my exasperation as life seems to be tumbling through quite a bit of change. I will find verses to remind me of the blessings I enjoy and I will meditate on them. I will find a song of thanksgiving to make my anthem. I will encourage my family to recognize and appreciate the advantages they’ve been given, and encourage them to express their gratitude and bless others through simple kindnesses. I will focus on forbearance rather than frustration, on patience instead of contrariness, and kindness rather than judgement.
I will be a better me, and I will forgive myself when I fail to live up to my expectations and acknowledge that each day is a new day to practise with purpose.
Today I am thankful for the friends that get me. The ones I can vent to, the ones I can laugh with, the ones that assure me that they don’t have it all together either and we’re all in the trenches of this life side-by-side. The ones who say pick up a phone and call me if you need anything. The ones who will pick up the phone or send a text and don’t get upset if I don’t reply. The ones who make a date and dive in to the nitty gritty. Who ask the tough questions and offer assurance when doubt creeps in. The friends that understand we’re all human and that our journey often comes with detours, pit stops, and aggravation. The friends that don’t need platitudes and false compliments, but listening ears and the gift of presence. The friends that encourage, inspire, and squeeze your hand when you need to borrow some strength, and {kindly} smack the side of your head when you’re being ridiculous. The friends who are real, transparent, and part of your tribe – that is what I’m thankful for.
I don’t think I have discoursed much using this platform in regards to my health. When I was 6 or 7 years old, (I honestly don’t remember how long ago it was!) I was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes. It is a disease that has gotten the best of me at times and there are times when I have willfully pretended that it has not affected me at all. (Ahem… I’m looking at those teenage years – I survived by the grace of God!) In the last 30ish years, myths and management around the disease have changed.
There are a few *things* that drive me (and any other number of individuals with Type 1) crazy! Most of them are actually recapped really well in this post on Everyday Health > 9 Things People With Type 1 Diabetes Wish You Knew
There are a lot of factors involved in management and we’ve come a long way since the 80s, baby. Banting & Best are two names that will forever hold a place of gratitude in my heart… and despite my frequent complaints about the costs associated with managing my blood sugars, insulin is a precious commodity that I hold dear to my heart.
When I first found out I was pregnant with K, we were thrown into a barrage of appointments and various teams of medical personnel were looking out for the well-being of baby & I. Who knew that pregnant mama’s with type 1 are considered high risk? Not I…. well at least not then. With a lot of hard work and tears and the constant support of that above team, my A1C (a 3 month snapshot of my glucose control) was pretty darn near perfect. I had a little one depending on me and that made all the difference in how seriously I took things.
We maintained this fabulousness (not a word, I know) during pregnancy number 2 and delivered two relatively healthy children. Then real life kicked in and ummm… I don’t know if you know this, but babies are a lot of work! My self-care took a back seat and that unintentional busyness became a habit where mom came last. During this time I also had a great working relationship with many of health care providers, but not my primary endocrinologist. I left my appointments (while the boys were little) feeling berated and stressed without any practical help or support. In an effort at emotional self-preservation, I would skip appointments… but I also wasn’t finding the balance I needed managing Type 1 at home and this took a toll on my overall health and blood sugars. I was functional, but irritable, prone to other complications including headaches and UTIs, and just didn’t feel well or energized much of the time.
Quite a few years ago, I switched endocrinologists. My family doctor had had enough and bluntly asked why I wasn’t taking care of myself. After a few bumps in the road, my relationship with my new endo and her team is fantastic and with much encouragement, I’m also working with the team at our local Type 1 diabetes centre. My endo still looks at things through a slightly more narrow view than the clinic, but the clinic is amazing at reminding me to celebrate the small things!
About a year and a half ago I walked into an appointment and got serious. It was time to make some changes (easy, but not simple if that makes sense to anyone who doesn’t go through the day to day rigors of monitoring their health.) The first step we made was changing from multiple blood glucose checks (finger pokes) to a flash glucose monitoring system (Freestyle Libre) – game changer. I could see what was going on behind the scenes and wow, what a difference.
We also started being more active and accurate in our carb counting. We fine tuned our insulin formulas. We made some other small changes. And tried to find ways to disburse stress. (Have you seen this one? So much more than food and activity go into those highs and lows!)
I still wasn’t completely satisfied with my results, although my big picture was changing! So I made the decision with the encouragement of my team to switch from multiple daily injections to an insulin pump. We reduced my insulin intake from 4-8 injections, 3 different types of insulin, to a single insulin that injects steadily all day long (basal) and accommodates my carb intake with the touch of a few buttons. It’s not been an easy transition – the time involved on this level of care and the rocky technological issues that have challenged me at times has left me frustrated – but I had another appointment with my endocrinologist today and she looked at me and said, “This is the best A1C you’ve had in years! In three months, the improvements have been incredible and I can’t wait to see your next one. This is where I like to see my patients.”
So, I’m celebrating… celebrating the advances in technology, celebrating my will power to get things done, celebrating the small changes that have stacked up, celebrating the time I invest in myself. I am not exactly where I want to be, but I’m getting closer to my destination – so inside I’m doing a great big happy dance of celebration because it’s all been worth it – my little victories are huge to me!
I will (unashamedly) admit that there are days I absolutely crave McDonalds, but when I hit the drive thru, there are actually only a few menu items I enjoy. Fries are a given once in a while (is it the sodium?) and I can go days with that hankering gnawing at me subconsciously – but in general, I think their fries are disgusting.
Furthermore, I will (woefully) admit there are days that I. Do. Not. Feel. Like. Cooking. As in, I’m absolutely convinced my kids can live off of stale croutons and shrivelled apples they find in the back of the crisper.
Despite my best meal planning efforts, fast food, pizza, or any other form of takeout sounds like a great idea if it means I can put my feet up sooner. We try to limit our external dining experiences over preparing a meal at home, but there are months that if I look through our bank statements, we’ve spent way too much on restaurant food on top of our grocery budget. Yuck.
I knew tonight would be one of those nights. My week has been busy and emotionally overwhelming. My to-do list for just today was a mile long. I really wanted my McDonalds… but I didn’t want to spend that kind of money for all of us (we easily drop $40 when we all go out.) Nor did I want to hear “I’m hungry” thirty minutes after forking out that much dough. Plus, the boys and I ate out last night as part of a family visit and I didn’t think we needed to add another restaurant meal to our week.
Using some romaine remains, cucumber in the crisper, wraps that had been sitting in the fridge, and a box of PC Southern Style Turkey Strips from the freezer, I recreated the Sweet Chili Crispy Chicken Wrap (but… with turkey.) We had mayo and sweet chili Thai sauce conveniently on hand as well. I was able to stuff the wraps fuller than anything you would buy at the Golden Arches. They cost about half of the fast food price. They tasted better. And. No. Complaints. Around. The. Table! (That’s a win in my books.) Even without the fries, I felt satisfied and experienced no tummy-regrets. Healthiest meal I’ve ever made? Not even close. Delicious and filling? Yes. 100% yes! It sated the craving and saved me some unwanted stress with a small amount of effort. Plus… better for the wallet (so Kevin’s happy too!) It’d be an easy one to make even healthier and less expensively with some small changes (whole grain wraps, boneless, skinless chicken cooked at home, etc.)
Do you ever stop to actually think about the things that feed your soul? These are the things or moments that make you stop, pause, and breathe. They will most likely be as unique as you are, though I’m sure many of us have many of the same items on our lists – the random minutiae that bring you a moment of peace, a spot of joy, or a bit of encouragement or life to your day. I’m also sure that you’ll never be able to list all the things that refresh you as many little moments pass us by and we don’t even realise that we’ve been uplifted for the moment.
These are some of the little things that are like a breath of fresh air in an otherwise busy life – for me! (Listed in no particular order.)
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We went camping at one of our local provincial parks this summer. It was just a Friday night – Sunday afternoon deal, but my crossover was loaded to the max and the poor beast had just enough room to lie down and switch directions. Our trip, like usual, was an interesting mix of chaos and comedy, frustration and fun, and well, rain.
It never takes too, too long to set up camp. J has his own little pop-up that he likes to use and takes charge of. Kaleb bemoaned the camping experience and decided putting an air mattress in the back of the Journey was the way to go. Kevin & I set up the screened in dining tent, Kevin & J. tackled the main tent and all the air mattresses while K. watched the beast and helped me putter around camp. There was a campfire ban so no s’mores or grilled weiners for us. It was so hot the weekend we chose to go and our tent was stifling, so *someone* kept all the windows open to air it out on Saturday. The mosquitoes couldn’t get in, but, well, let’s just say the water did. Our change of clothes, bedding, air mattress, floor, you name it, was soaked… while we enjoyed some board games under the food tent and stayed wonderfully dry.
Our second night in the tent was much cooler, but unfortunately uncomfortable as unbeknownst to us (and while trying to deal with the discomforts of the damp from the rain out) our air mattress sprung a slow leak. Did I also mention that while the car was breathing room only with all the things I remembered to pack, I may have forgotten to pack pillows? We don’t exactly live the high life when we camp, but we generally aren’t roughing it too badly either. We tossed and turned. Middle of the night, I had to relieve myself and thought I was comfortable enough to walk to the comfort station while surrounded by the snores of my fellow campers. I brought a little torch, good enough to find my glucometer in the dark, so good enough to get me where I needed to go… or so I thought.
You know what though? This crowded, not-very-wild park suddenly seemed overwhelmingly lonely and dark in the pitch black of the middle of the night. The moon wasn’t very bright that I can remember, and the trees surrounded me with their shadows. This friendly, family-safe environment during the day had become an unknown, unfamiliar, uncomfortable void. I didn’t truly feel uneasy as the crowded campground lent some assurance that if I were to be in real trouble, I could scream and someone would undoubtedly hear me. Until I stumbled in a pothole, twisted my ankle slightly, and not more than one minute later, walked smack into a tree. (I’m a little surprised that I didn’t wake our fellow campers on that site.)
The comfort station was only three campsites to the right up a curved road, and then down a short wooded path – a three minute walk at most in the daytime, but it seemed interminable because the torch I grabbed barely illuminated the ground right in front of my feet, nevermind lighting the path ahead of me. I had another encounter with the local flora (no contact with trees this time) and finally stumbled into the golden halo cast by the sodium vapour lights on the green by the comfort station.
My way back was even more disconcerting, as my eyes had adapted to the much-appreciated light of the washroom and surrounding area, but were not yet ready to adapt to the shadows beyond that above mentioned glow. I stood in the green with it’s many trails extending towards the various campgrounds, but couldn’t distinguish any openings in the woods to find my way “home.” I wandered much like I imagine a drunken monkey would, trying to be discreet and quiet, but also starting to feel a little panicked even though I knew the path. was. right. there. I was ready to turn around and walk towards the light of the washrooms and park it on a bench for the rest of the night and wait for dawn’s arrival. Finally, I stumbled close enough to the edge of the woods and at this point, only hoped it was the correct path, missed a bend in the road and veered towards the trees again, managed to trip in the same pothole, and gratefully found our campsite and crawled into the tent. Having to take a pee had become an incredibly ridiculous (and yes, humourous) venture.
Of course, me being me, I lay on the air mattress with a cardigan rolled up as a pillow, slanting towards the ground on one side, shivering in the damp of our not-so-comfy nest, and thought how much my little adventure reminded me so much of life. We lose sight of our bigger journey, finding the shadows of our day-to-day worries and concerns closing in; we focus on where we are right this moment and don’t take the time or find the tools to see the colossal picture. We shed light on a small part of our story, we stumble through our situations, and we fail to illuminate our path. We encounter obstacles, we veer off course, but when we finally see the light, we rejoice, we find reassurance, we take courage. My journey would have been so much easier if I had grabbed a powerful flashlight or if there had been streetlights or moonlights along the path.
Go ahead and laugh at my troubles… again – I wouldn’t share them if I were ashamed! Also, take to heart the lesson from my example and grab a good flashlight if you ever need to find a washroom in the dark. A path illuminated is a much easier journey than a walk through the shadows.
Life Love Laughter Linds 