Deep In the Trenches

Published on by Lindsey B.1 Comment

I always read about the mamas with toddlers who are seemingly stuck in the trenches, whether stay at home or working. They’re fighting a battle to remember their own identities while helping beautiful little humans find their own. They’re juggling sippy cups and missing socks and finger paints on the walls and mashed carrots on the floor and diaper cream in the most unexpected places… never mind the joys of potty training.

As I reflect on these mamas, I breathe a slightly smug sigh of relief and think we survived intact. I miss the cuddles and the mispronunciations. I don’t miss the temper tantrums, need for naps, and stubborn I can do it myself independent attitudes that mean everything takes 3 times as long. My kids are well past these stages when the days can feel so long, exhausting, and sometimes just hard.

And then I enounter a day like today, and a light bulb goes off as I realise I’m still chin deep in the trenches, staring parenthood in the face while fears and tears and situations escalate. Arguments about snow pants and breakfast choices and whether it’s necessary to brush their teeth. (It is.) Questions about why they didn’t have their backpacks ready the night before when they’ve been asked to do this every day of their school years thus far. Why didn’t you feed the dog? (“I slept in and then I forgot!”) Day becomes dinner and the battles over chores and meals and the sibling start again.

I lose my cool while silently berating myself on the inside for losing my cool. Threats are made and grow exponentially and I can’t cave because then the point is lost. Next thing I know my kid is ready to move in with Oma. (If he makes it to your place, Mom, pile on the chores and make him eat dinner and no junk food and go back to dial-up, k? He doesn’t believe we grew up with rules when we lived under your roof.)

So now my heart (and head) is pounding, a kid is crying into his soup, and the internet is gone. There’s a lot of disappointment festering from the kitchen table and I’m not sure my dishes will survive when the dishwasher is emptied. While I may have won the battle, I question whether I’m actually the victor. We’re living in a house that’s just happy, happy, happy…

Maybe one day he’ll be engaged in conflict with his own teen or pre-teen. He’ll recall the time that I made him eat healthy dinners and not live off of junk food; the time I reminded him that as a parent who has done nothing to betray him, I’ve earned his respect; that being a part of a family comes with responsibilities and love before it comes with privileges like screentime and sleepovers. He’ll understand and appreciate the importance of showers and face wash and being a contributing member of society.

Maybe that day he’ll be locked in a stare down and his kid will hold his own in a very vocal disagreement. Of course, said kid will be tall enough to stare him in the eyes. He’ll wince, dagger to the heart, when he hears that this kid wants to live with me instead.

Maybe that will be the day that he’ll realise parents never leave the trenches. That every day is a battle to find balance between stability and independence, freedom and frustration, while hoping our failings and frailties haven’t scarred them for good. Every day of parenthood we’re doing our best but sometimes our best is a little broken. He’ll remember the love and the purpose behind the rules and reasons. Maybe he’ll look back, feeling a little battered and bruised from this latest test of wills, and will realise that those toddler days really weren’t so bad…

Mealplan Monday: January 28th Edition

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Last week, I did really well sticking to our mealplan with just one big variation. Success! Our mystery meal last night was a thai chili glazed salmon plated with a colorful baby spinach and red pepper stirfry, and a savoury rice & quinoa mix. The youngest cleared his plate in a quick blink of the eye. The eldest chose to eat leftovers from the night before. {Boring!}

This week I’m experimenting a little and have also requested buy-in from the men. They each chose a meal and will be helping to prepare them. Not all the choices are healthful, so I’ll be trying to bring some veg and colour and balance to our plates or making healthier subs where possible.

Our flavour loaded plan this week includes:

  • Creamy White Bean and Tomato Soup (vegan!)
  • Turkey Taco Salad
  • Homemade Burgers
  • Justin’s Pick – Mac n Cheese Bites with Cucumber and Cauliflower Breadsticks
  • Kaleb’s Pick – Turkey Strips, Handcut Fries and Fresh Veggies
  • Kevin’s Pick: Homemade Pizza and Salad

What’s on your menu board this week? Anything new and exciting? Any standby family faves?

Happy eats!

Comfort Cooking: Potluck Favourites

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On occasion, our church will decide to host a potluck luncheon. While sometimes this makes my “ick” radar go off, for the most part, it’s never been a problem. My measure of success? No one’s gone home with food poisoning…

These events always leave me a little stressed, however. I’m usually scheduled for something else at the church and the timing issue leaves me in jitters. I don’t want to have to wake up at 5 a.m. to start cooking a casserole or preparing a slow-cooker dish. My go-to is usually a bunch of frozen meatballs & sauce (dump, toss, and heat!) or a salad.

Once in a while, I want something different, and I go to our family comfort foods (meals that 3 out of 4 agree are tasty) and prepare the day before. I’ll let the kitchen staff worry about heating! For some reason, these comfort foods are always rich and flavourful, and maybe not very healthy. For the potluck today, I made a shepherd’s pie yesterday. I’ve always wondered if it’s truly shepherd’s pie though, as I don’t use carrots & peas but opt for corn, and occasionally something else thrown in the mix.

My shepherd’s pies are never actually the same, which is one of the joys of the dish. Today’s casserole includes a mix of peaches & cream corn with leafy greens on the bottom. The next layer includes a flavourful mix of ground beef sauteed with onions, garlic, and steak spice, then tossed in a gravy of choice. (I cheated and used a packet of peppercorn gravy mix from the grocery store this time.) The final layer is a creamy topping of mashed potatoes – seasoned as you wish. I chose to leave them rustic (i.e. I didn’t bother peeling them) and used my beaters to “mash.” I toss it in the oven to bake when I’m ready to use it as a meal – whether it’s immediately after preparing or sometime in the future.

Other potluck favourites include layered nacho dip (super easy!), crockpot meatballs (as stated), Caesar salad (a classic), slow cooker pulled pork (it always disappears), jerk pork bites (not for the faint of heart), slow cooker scalloped or roasted potatoes, and Italian pasta salad (not a family favourite, but again, easy to make.) If it wasn’t a church potluck (the organizers ban soups and provide desserts themselves), I would consider adding my meatball soup or no-bake cherry cheesecake to the mix.

I know there will be extra bodies in the service today, so I’ve also prepared a second dish. It is a Thai Quinoa salad of sorts – peanutty dressing, lots of veg, and quinoa tossed together. I figure it’s {maybe} healthier than my shepherd’s pie and won’t take space in the church ovens.

I’m basing my efforts off these inspired recipes, but didn’t have cabbage on hand so it’s more of a kitchen sink project – brocolli, carrots, cucumber, pepper, and spinach: Ambitious Kitchen Famous Crunchy Cashew Thai Quinoa Salad and Cookie & Kate Crunchy Thai Peanut & Quinoa Salad. Great way to empty out the crisper!

What are your family’s comfort foods? What is your go-to potluck dish?

Book Review: The Girl on the Beach – Tracy Buchanan

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NetGalley has been wonderful for exploring new-to-me authors, including Tracy Buchanan. The latest completed title on my bookshelf, The Girl on the Beach, was a tantalizing discovery, full of family drama, a healthy measure of suspense, and some hints of humour.

Colourful Characters & Lots of Suspense

The characters were colourful and emotions were high. It was a very quick read and yet I didn’t feel that any facets were lacking. The suspense was multi-layered, and though I had my suspicions about how the plot would unfold, I still thought it was tied together well in the end. (“Ooooh, that’s how she sewed it up tight!”) I was invested enough that I found one thread a little disappointing with how Buchanan chose to snip it! (“…but, why??? No….”) I didn’t love all the characters, but I don’t think I was supposed to.

There were a few intimate scenes, that while not entirely vital to the story, did add some depth of insight into the characters’ mindsets and lifestyles. Again, if these scenes are offensive to you, skip the book… or skip the scenes.

Overall, I was intrigued by this title and will be adding Ms. Buchanan to my list of author’s to explore. I enjoy a well-written story with layers of emotion, mystery, discovery, and human frailty. The Girl on the Beach had it all.

I received an uncorrected advance review copy of this book via NetGalley courtesy of the author and/or publisher. All opinions expressed in this review are my own.

Published by Bookouture; Publication Date – January 25, 2019

Winter’s Tale

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I am not the biggest fan of winter. For a Canadian girl living near the Great Lakes, I question how people survive the more extreme climates and entirely understand the snowbirds departure every fall. I truly must remember that every season has its perks and challenges.

The first glimpses of change with the pages turning on the calendar invoke awe and wonder – a sense of excitement with every new bud on a tree, the sun warm enough to lounge in, the leaves majestic in their autumn splendor. Unfortunately as the seasons progress we lose appreciation for the same things that once excited us.

The scent of a rainy spring day doesn’t evoke the urge to jump in puddles, but instead we complain about the mud. The warmth of the summer sun is no longer a blessing, but a curse as the sweat rolls off our brow. The golden foliage of fall becomes a reminder of dark and damp days. We crave a return to the season we left or impatiently wait for the next season’s arrival, hopelessly bound to that innate disastisfaction for where we are and we lose admiration for the season we’re in.

For me, winter is the hardest season. It’s cold, barren, bitter. The fresh crisp days and freshly fallen snow that made me exclaim in delight with the first arrival are no longer reflections of light and purity, but inconvenient, lonely and isolating. The pristine snow-covered fields are now windblown and stained, the days long in dreariness but short in warmth and sunlight.

But winter is necessary – as necessary as the sun in summer. In winter, nature is at rest. It’s completed its cycle of growth and productivity for another year and it replenishes as it prepares for the following spring. The trees are naked and ugly. The gardens are bare and useless. The ground is no longer lush and vibrant. While I enjoy short bursts outdoors to clear my mind and get fresh air, I tend to bury myself indoors and cocoon myself away bemoaning the forecast of ice and snow and frigid temperatures. However, all my useless complaints aside, the earth is healing and silently preparing for the changes to come in the near future.


As with every season, winter will not last forever – whether it’s the season on a calendar or a winter of your heart. The spring will return with signs of growth and beauty, blossoming into fullness and maturity and eventually preparing to rest once again.

Maybe you feel like you’re stuck in a season of winter. You feel isolated and barren. Your purpose seems lost. The days are long and dreary as you merely cycle through mindlessly waiting for some sign of life. You are weighted down by the mundane. But this season you’re in? It’s really a season of rest – a season vital to upcoming growth. Just accept that it’s a chance to recharge and replenish and find solace in solitude and strength in serenity before you face change once again.

Perhaps you don’t feel like your stranded in a season of cold and staleness. Perhaps you’re seeing the first inklings of a dream coming true and now impatiently want to see the full development. Or you’re thick in the midst of a project or stage that has you gasping for air and you crave a chance to cool down. Take note of the season you’re in and know that it too serves a purpose in a cycle of continuous maturing.

Appreciate the beauty of your season and wait with hope for each purposeful moment in the journey through spring showers, sun-drenched summer, autumn bounty, and even winter storms. Without winter, we have no spring, without spring, no summer… don’t lose delight in your season, but recognize it for the greater purpose it serves… as Ecclesiastes says, “To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven;”

Meal Plan Monday – January 21st Edition

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I get that it’s Tuesday, but I didn’t want to overpost last night… so you get Meal Plan Monday – a day late.

We were out of so many staples this week and I’ve been trying to use up the bits and pieces in the freezer, fridge, and pantry. Lots of improvising and substitutions. With the cold weather, I’ve wanted to make some comfort food and soups. Unfortunately, soups are hit and miss with this crew. (Mostly miss… what is wrong with them?!) I’m also putting my crockpot to use this week!

I’ve looked ahead to our schedule for the week and try to take into account our busyness as I plan out our meals. I like to keep some basics on hand in case I feel the need to just do something simple. I put together a plan yesterday and then tweaked it again today. I’m sure it will change once more before the week is out.

Here is what’s on our menu:

  • Spaghetti & Meatballs (Monday’s meal, in fact. I had frozen meatballs to clear out of the freezer.)
  • Cream Chicken & Rice Taco Soup (new recipe for us!)
  • Crockpot Enchilada Casserole (also a new one – based loosely on this one, but we’ll change it up to make it our own.)
  • Breakfast for dinner (most likely sausage, veggie omelettes, some fruit, and diced potatoes
  • Mystery meals – I fully intend on staring at the freezer and seeing what piques my interest. I’ve got some ground beef set aside, some chicken wings, and salmon that we should use. No real “plan” for these ones, but simple sides like rice and veggie medleys.

What’s cooking at your house this week? Will you be trying anything new? Feel free to share your tummy-warming cold weather favourites in the comments!

Book Review: Apple Island Wife by Fiona Stocker

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Final rating: 4 stars from me!

I dove into the pages of Apple Island Wife this weekend, hoping the memoirs of a woman making a new home for her family in rural Tanzania would distract me from our frigid Canadian winter. (It was adorable how she described how some individuals might consider Tanzania cold.)

This charming tale was a delightful telling of growth and discovery, stories of everyday life in a new setting, interspersed with droll humour. The account was amusing and educational (being from the North American corner of the world, there were some terms I was unfamiliar with!) While I enjoyed many of the aspects of the presentation, Fiona’s recounted insights into her husband’s interests (and her decided lack of interest in said pursuits) truly amused me – I too will never understand the appeal of a tractor pull or farm auction, no matter how many we attended as children.

Her colourful characterizations of the animals – pet, herd, and pest – as well as the lively description of her neighbours and the land were vividly well done. I could at once envision myself in the midst of the scenes she described. Wallabies, huntsman spiders, and snakes, oh my!

The chapters were not presented in a linear fashion. While I understood the general timeline as a whole, there was a part of me that wondered how old the children were, how many months or years had passed, or whether an incident happened before another if it was not explicitly presented in the writing.

It was relatable for any woman who has ever made a decision and questioned whether they were truly equipped for the change. She found the right balance in presenting how many of us struggle with wanting to be more than a mother or housewife and I was delighted with her term of domestic Chief Executive Officer. She acknowledge her strengths and her weakness with a balance of humility and humour.

Overall, this is a book that I highly recommend for a little glimpse into someone making a home for themselves in a strange-to-them environ. Settle in with a cuppa in a comfy chair – you’ll feel like your about to listen in while a close friend recounts amusing anecdotes of everyday life or the reminiscing of your favourite auntie. It was an intimate glimpse into the Stocker family’s venture into farm life and I, for one, cannot wait to read more.

I received a copy of this book via NetGalley courtesy of the author and/or publisher. All opinions expressed in this review are my own.

Published by Unbound Digital; Publication Date – December 4, 2018

#AppleIslandWife #NetGalley

Monday, Fun-day!

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If you live anywhere in the Great Lakes area, generally speaking, you’ve probably been hit with the cold snap of the year. (I’m not exactly sure how far this crazy cold extended through North America, but I know that the GTA is cold!) School buses were cancelled last night in anticipation of the extreme weather and beasties were running outside to do their business as fast as they can. I *thought* I had pre-heated my car this morning (hello, remote start!), but it turns out my battery was protesting as much as my kids. (Even if I had won the battle to drive them to school on my way to work, Mother Nature had other plans.)

Now… what’s one day off of school? Well, let me remind you that we’ve had sick days, PA days, and now an inclement weather day. I love the slight sleep-in, but oh my word, I need the routine of regular school days. I love my boys dearly, but they know how to push my buttons!

I worked from the comfort of my kitchen table and eventually my couch. I got things done! The kids agreed if they stayed home from school, they would pitch in around the house (before we knew that I had no way of getting them there.) They got things done. We got things done… then it was a battle to pry them away from screens for the rest of the day.

Our youngest, 11 years old, has been watching cooking shows – Top Chef, Chopped, Nailed It, and SugarRush. These binges always result in his wanting to explore his culinary talents, until he gets bored, at least. Today, he decided he wanted to bake a cake. Good in theory, but I said I wasn’t doing it for him – I would guide him through the recipe, but the work was up to him. Also, I was supposed to do groceries today, and the staples cupboard was pretty bare – we didn’t even have milk.

He pulled out my well-worn BHG cookbook – my go-to for some basic recipes. (It looks something like this… maybe not the same edition?!) He found a chocolate cake recipe and decided this would be his ambitious trial for the day. Man, that kid knocked my socks off. He read through the recipe, pulled out the ingredients, measured and mixed, and put them in the oven. I helped him identify when they were ready to pull out, but he did the bulk of the work with a few learn-by-example steps along the way.

He’s a very opinionated boy – especially when he’s being creative. He wanted a butterscotch filling. So I managed to make a butterscotch pudding to use between layers of the two rounds. First time for me! He also required chocolate icing and wanted to melt down a mix of chocolate & butterscotch chips left over from our Christmas baking to drizzle on top. When it was all put together, I was seriously impressed – for a first attempt at baking a cake – and a layer cake at that – he rocked it!

It was a little dry, but I still cannot believe how well he did. It’s not the prettiest cake in the world, but it’s edible and yummy! A little slice goes a long way. So amidst the chaos of a mad Monday, we made some more memories, practised some life skills, and managed not to freeze any body parts off! (Also, I never lost my cool…) All in all, I’d consider that success… and seeing his confidence sore? It might have had me beaming in pride!

DIY: Beeswax Wraps

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My Tuesdays always seem to start way too early – the oldest has to be at school for band practice by 7:00a.m. Last night I forgot to set my early alarm, so he had to hustle and probably didn’t leave until 7:00 a.m. This seemingly did not bode well for my productivity today.

Much to my surprise, I found my inner Martha Stewart and dug deep for my own hustle. Multiple loads of laundry washed and folded – check. Coconut cookies freshly baked – check. Dishwasher emptied, loaded, and hand-washed items scrubbed in the sink – check. Bathroom glistening (okay, maybe not quite glistening, just clean) – check.

Then I decided to work on my beeswax wrap project mentioned a few days ago. Our friends at Dickey Bee Honey kindly gifted me with a huge block of beeswax. (Beeswax smells amazing, my dears!) Many instructions will recommend pine resin or jojoba oil for flexibility – I didn’t bother this time, but am sure the ones I’ve purchased have one or the other or both.

I hauled out all my supplies:

The finished product – DIY Beeswax Wraps

I began by ironing my fabric – I suppose I actually started by washing my fabric and hanging to dry, but I did that days ago so it doesn’t seem to count. (If you’re going to give this a try, make sure your fabric is clean whether it’s brand new, recycled, or been sitting in your basement for years!)

Once I got all the wrinkles out, I used pinking shears to trim off each side of the fabric (especially the unfinished ends) and cut each piece to size. I wanted two wraps large enough for a casserole dish, one for a large plate or bowl, and a few smaller ones with the remaining scraps.

I had those coconut cookies baking away in batches while attempting this project, so I left the oven on to try both the iron method and the oven method. (I preferred the oven method, but could only do my smaller wraps this way.)

Get your grater out and prepare for some arm workouts. Shredding beeswax is not as easy as shredding cheese. I actually wanted to give up at this point (seriously.) If you have a secret for making it easy, let me know?!? Otherwise, if I were to attempt this again, and didn’t have beeswax readily available, I’d invest in beeswax beads or pellets. You need enough grated beeswax to sprinkle over your fabric pieces generously (but not too generously – it will melt and spread.)

For the iron method, line a baking sheet with parchment and lay your fabric on top. Add prepared beeswax all over and cover with a second sheet of parchment. Using your preheated iron, melt the wax between the parchment trying to avoid getting wax on your iron. (Not that I did this. It might wreck the iron, you know!) You will be able to see the wax melting and spreading – make sure it saturates your fabric and use your iron to “push” any puddles around to thinner areas. Once your fabric is completely covered, gently peel off the parchment and find somewhere to hang to dry.

For the oven method, preheat your oven to 200F. Line your baking tray with parchment and lay your fabric on top. Sprinkle with prepared beeswax and place in the oven for approximately 5 minutes. After 5 minutes, check to see how things are melting. It may need a few more minutes. If parts of your fabric are not saturated, use a brush (I used a silicone basting brush) to spread the melted wax – you may need to add a few more sprinkles and return to the oven to melt. Once your fabric is saturated, peel off the parchment and add to the hanging collection to dry. Be cautious with both methods – the beeswax can be hot! (It smells good though and your fingers will feel super smooth.)

Once your wraps are dry, feel free to inspect for any “dry” spots where the wax didn’t saturate as much as you like. Add more shavings and either pop it back in the oven for a minute or pull out your iron. If you have wax pooling on your parchment at any point, you can use some fabric to sop it up.

Your wraps are now finished and ready to use! Admire how beautiful they are. Pat yourself on the back for not spilling hot beeswax all over the floor or your kitchen table.

Findings? I like the ones I purchased better – they’re a little more flexible and a lot less work. However, these will do quite nicely for my desired purposes and they did use up materials I had on-hand. I think the added ingredients suggested in other “recipes” (oil, resin) add to the flexibility and I know there are a number of other tutorials out there that can give you directions. As for method, I actually preferred the iron method – there was something satisfying about watching the wax melt and smear, but I may not have been cautious enough and think the iron may now have a layer of beeswax stuck to the bottom. I should probably peel that off before Kevin next irons a shirt!

Delight

Published on by Lindsey B.2 Comments

Back at the beginning of January (so long ago!), I took the Dayspring 2019 Your Word of the Year Quiz. I don’t put a lot of hope and promise into these things but was interested in seeing what came up. I took the quiz again tonight (because I couldn’t remember my word – ha – apparently I need to work on retention!) Delight. My word for 2019 is ‘delight.’ I honestly thought it might be rest, or peace, or strength, but no – it’s ‘delight.’

My Word of the Year – Dayspring

I don’t associate deeply with this word. It doesn’t bring up any heartfelt connotations or even make me really truly feel like, yes, delight, it is THE word that speaks to me. It just doesn’t… but maybe I haven’t looked at it deeply enough?

I dug into the dictionary. Oxford Dictionary describes delight as both a verb and a noun, most definitions having to do with pleasure – finding pleasure in something, causing pleasure, great pleasure itself.

The synonyms, however, are what tickled my fancy!

  • please greatly, charm, enchant, captivate, entrance, bewitch, thrill, excite, take someone’s breath away
  • gladden, gratify, appeal to, do someone’s heart good, entertain, amuse, divert
  • take great pleasure, find great pleasure, glory, revel, luxuriate, wallow
  • adore, love, relish, savour, enjoy greatly, lap up
  • pleasure, happiness, joy, joyfulness, glee, gladness, gratification, relish, excitement, amusement
  • bliss, rapture, ecstasy, elation, euphoria
  • transports of delight

So maybe we can make this work? Perhaps for 2019 I can make delight my word. I can find charm in everyday moments. I can do someone’s heart good through acts of kindness. I can revel in my accomplishments and reinforced boundaries. I can savour time alone to rest and recharge. I can discover joy in my family. I can discover elation in the company of my friends. I can live in transports of delight as I walk in strength and grace and patience and revelation.

Yes, I think ‘delight’ is quite a wonderful word for 2019 and I can’t wait to find new opportunities of delight – and ways to delight others – throughout the year! And perhaps, as I look to find delight in the life I’ve been given and all of its blessings, He will delight in me, too!