Life Love Laughter Linds

We are embarking on the next phase in our parenting journey… our oldest son is thirteen years old tomorrow!  At 6:09 a.m. on October 13, 2005, we welcomed our ridiculously large child into our arms – we could almost say his enormous size was indicative of how much our hearts expanded in love.  At 38 weeks, measuring 11lbs, 7oz weight, 24.8 inches in length, and a head circumference of 14.9 inches, we were grateful for a c-section (post delivery.)

 Kaleb’s delivery story began with an unexpected visit to the Labour & Delivery ward after a sudden drop in blood sugar and extreme nausea in Mom the day before his birth.  This was one of the warning signs we were asked to watch for in our high risk pregnancy towards the end of term.   Tests were ordered, I was examined, and we proceeded with our scheduled BPP.  Fortunately, our actual Ob-Gyn was on call that day and he stuck around for much longer than most doctors would to ensure he was on hand to make decisions for our care.  Shortly after our first battery of tests, it was decided we would induce to reduce risks for Kaleb.

I happily proceeded throughout the day with mild, yet regular contractions.  We sat in the early labour stage for a very long time.  We moved from early labour to active labour… and waited… and waited…and waited.  Contractions grew crazy intense, but I wasn’t dilating like I should have.  I kept being told “you’ll be pushing soon!” and after every exam they’d announce with surprise that although my contractions were strong, frequent, and long, my cervix wasn’t cooperating.    I was miserable overnight and still have regrets over some of the comments I made to people!    Just around the 6am mark (after 19 hours in hospital) a nurse checked in, our doctor was called urgently, and suddenly I was being rushed out of the room without any real knowledge about what was going on.   (Apparently I was heading to the OR for emergency C-section.)  Kaleb, while responsive during most of labour, was suddenly in distress and they were concerned as his heart rate was dropping during contractions rather than elevating as they should have.   The kid gave us a scare!

Fortunately, medical intervention and our amazing care team ensured a healthy delivery and we were blessed with amazing after care as well.  I will admit that I do not remember most of his first hours of life due to the effects of the anesthetic and pain meds.  I have funny snapshots, but no clear memories.  (Someone grabbing my breast, my parents crying, laughter in the recovery room, ceiling lights, and being transferred from a ward unit to a private suite. (Worth the upgrade!)

This child of ours was a fighter from the beginning.  A little stubborn.  Incredibly adorable.   Smiles that could melt your heart.   In thirteen years, not much has changed.  He’s still a fighter (not in a bad way, but if he is faced with an obstacle, he’s determined.) He’s still stubborn.  You will not change his mind once it’s been made up.   He’s adorable (but don’t tell him that!)  His smiles still melt my heart (they’re a little further apart these days, but the genuine ones can light up a room!)

His laughter as a little guy would bubble up and overflow.  He was mischievous.  He talked with funny little mispronunciations.  He was a monkey – climbing on, and up, and over everything.  He was intelligent (and still is!)  He never took to sports. He never took to books.

Today, his personality has changed but I have glimpses of the little boy he used to be and can see shadows of the man he’ll become.  He’s strong and silent.  He’s kindhearted and sincere.  He’s logical and sensible.  He’s a thinker.  He likes control and routine. He likes things to be right and doesn’t like to make mistakes.  He’s happier at home than out and about.  He can argue like there’s a reward for it.  He can bicker ’til I want to pull out my hair.  He has a few close friends, but is friendly with everyone. He doesn’t feel the need to be popular. He will not be pushed around (thank goodness!) but he’s respectful even in his differences of opinions (with everyone but family, at least.)  He skates by in school, but maintains As & Bs.  He’s well on the way to being a successful, amazing adult.

As he goes through his teenage years there are things I want him to know – shared below in no particular order..

1) We are your parents first.  We are your friends second.  Those positions many times will overlap, but often our decisions as parents will make it seem like we’re not friends.  We want what’s best for you, even when it seems like we’re being difficult.

2) We are always here to listen.  You may not like our initial response, but I pray that we learn to temper our conversations with wisdom and grace.  I pray that you come to us with problems big and small.  I pray that even in the midst of mistakes, you know that we are here for you.

3) Remember your manners.  Hormones might make you moody.  Life can be tough. You still have a responsibility to treat people with kindness and respect.  Please and thank you go a long way.  Open doors for people.  Offer a hand when someone is struggling.  Take your hat off in restaurants and in church. Answer questions politely.

4) Be kind.  Don’t judge.  You don’t know what anyone else is going through and you cannot control other people’s words or actions.  You can control how you handle a situation.  Don’t gossip.  Don’t lie. Don’t speak out of turn.  Don’t bully.  Look for ways to offer a hand or brighten someone’s day.  Even when you disagree with someone, let kindness be your model.

5) Pray.   Pray with gratefulness when you’re happy.  Pray for strength when things are rough.  Pray for wisdom as you tackle life.  Pray for friends who will lift you up and encourage you. Pray for mercy when you make mistakes.  Pray for opportunities to share God’s love.

6) Choose your friends wisely.  You are the company you keep.  If your friends are always getting into trouble, you probably will too.  It’s harder to stand up for your convictions if everyone around you is doing the opposite.  Be friendly to everyone, but remember that you don’t need to be best friends with everyone you meet.  Guard your heart, but be loving.  Be the friend that you want your friends to be.

7) Learn some Scriptures.  Cling to them.  There are verses to help you through every single thing you face.   Feeling overwhelmed?  Find a verse for that.  Feeling lonely? Find a verse for that.  Fighting anger? Find a verse for that.  Feeling worried? Find a verse for that.  Meditate on them. Let them be a foundation for every day life.

8) Get off the computer.  Seriously.  Don’t let technology consume you.  Get outside.  Read a book. Go for a walk. Lie in the sun.  Play a boardgame.  Throw a ball for the dog.  Go fishing.  Talk to people in person.  Use technology as a tool, as an escape, but DO NOT let it be everything.

9) Be generous.  Share.  Share your time.  Share your smiles.  Share your lunch.  If you have more and you can help, just do it.   Don’t be selfish.

10) Be wise.  Save your money.  Spend it carefully.  Think before you act.  Think before you speak.  Listen.  Learn.  Weigh your decisions. Stand for your beliefs.  Don’t be talked into a situation that makes you uncomfortable.  Avoid situations that can be used against you.  Protect yourself.

Enjoy the next few years, honey.  As you transition from boy-child to adulthood, I know that things won’t always be easy. I know that a lot of changes will happen over the next few years.  Regardless of what your teenage years look like, know that we love you!  You are our sunshine on a cloudy day.

Today I was part of a group that directs fundraising dollars towards different community projects.  Three organizations are nominated, presented to the group, and then we vote and the majority vote receives the fund.  Three times a year we gather to make a difference.  This is community. It’s laughter. It’s tears. It’s support in so many ways. Our local youth drop in program (a program I also happen to have been a part of since its inception) was the fortunate recipient of tonight’s generosity.

I am part of a community that understands the next generation is our future.  That understands the generation needs a reason to hope.  The next generation needs to know they are worth the investment.  So we give our time.  We give our money.  We give our attention.  We feed the body.  We encourage the soul. We build the future. One life at a time.

So many times we forget about the untapped potential and amazing gift that has been given to us in our children and young people.  We see the negatives. We see the immaturity. We see the difficulties and differences from our generation.

But I am thankful.  Thankful that I can spend time with a group of kids that will be our future teachers, lawyers, farmers, and neighbors.  I am thankful that I can learn something from the next generation if I but take the time to listen. I am thankful that my community knows that the next generation is important and valuable and worthy of investment.

“Last 90 days…” 
“Final quarter”
“How will you end the year?”

Anyone else finding little reminders that 2018 is very quickly coming to a close?  I’m seeing social media challenges, blog posts, videos and more about the last few months of the year with an emphasis on finishing up strong before jumping in new.

I’m climbing up on the bandwagon. This month, this quarter, I’d like to continue with my self-care, self-development, family-strengthening goals.  I want to live intentionally, carving out time for certain things like rest, creativity, and evaluating paths & purpose.

For October, with Canadian Thanksgiving approaching, a child about to celebrate his 13th birthday (how did that happen????), and multiple family occasions upon us, I will focus on being thankful.

I will spend time each day with a pen & journal to jot down the small things I can appreciate, rather than focusing on my exasperation as life seems to be tumbling through quite a bit of change.  I will find verses to remind me of the blessings I enjoy and I will meditate on them.  I will find a song of thanksgiving to make my anthem.  I will encourage my family to recognize and appreciate the advantages they’ve been given, and encourage them to express their gratitude and bless others through simple kindnesses. I will focus on forbearance rather than frustration, on patience instead of contrariness, and kindness rather than judgement.

I will be a better me, and I will forgive myself when I fail to live up to my expectations and acknowledge that each day is a new day to practise with purpose.

Today I am thankful for the friends that get me.  The ones I can vent to, the ones I can laugh with, the ones that assure me that they don’t have it all together either and we’re all in the trenches of this life side-by-side.  The ones who say pick up a phone and call me if you need anything. The ones who will pick up the phone or send a text and don’t get upset if I don’t reply.  The ones who make a date and dive in to the nitty gritty. Who ask the tough questions and offer assurance when doubt creeps in.  The friends that understand we’re all human and that our journey often comes with detours, pit stops, and aggravation.  The friends that don’t need platitudes and false compliments, but listening ears and the gift of presence.  The friends that encourage, inspire, and squeeze your hand when you need to borrow some strength, and {kindly} smack the side of your head when you’re being ridiculous.  The friends who are real, transparent, and part of your tribe – that is what I’m thankful for.

I don’t think I have discoursed much using this platform in regards to my health.  When I was 6 or 7 years old, (I honestly don’t remember how long ago it was!)  I was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes.  It is a disease that has gotten the best of me at times and there are times when I have willfully pretended that it has not affected me at all.   (Ahem… I’m looking at those teenage years – I survived by the grace of God!) In the last 30ish years, myths and management around the disease have changed.

There are a few *things* that drive me (and any other number of individuals with Type 1) crazy!  Most of them are actually recapped really well in this post on Everyday Health >  9 Things People With Type 1 Diabetes Wish You Knew

There are a lot of factors involved in management and we’ve come a long way since the 80s, baby.  Banting & Best are two names that will forever hold a place of gratitude in my heart… and despite my frequent complaints about the costs associated with managing my blood sugars, insulin is a precious commodity that I hold dear to my heart.

When I first found out I was pregnant with K, we were thrown into a barrage of appointments and various teams of medical personnel were looking out for the well-being of baby & I.  Who knew that pregnant mama’s with type 1 are considered high risk?  Not I…. well at least not then.   With a lot of hard work and tears and the constant support of that above team, my A1C (a 3 month snapshot of my glucose control) was pretty darn near perfect.  I had a little one depending on me and that made all the difference in how seriously I took things.

We maintained this fabulousness (not a word, I know) during pregnancy number 2 and delivered two relatively healthy children.  Then real life kicked in and ummm… I don’t know if you know this, but babies are a  lot of work!  My self-care took a back seat and that unintentional busyness became a habit where mom came last.   During this time I also had a great working relationship with many of health care providers, but not my primary endocrinologist.   I left my appointments (while the boys were little) feeling berated and stressed without any practical help or support.  In an effort at emotional self-preservation, I would skip appointments… but I also wasn’t finding the balance I needed managing Type 1 at home and this took a toll on my overall health and blood sugars.  I was functional, but irritable, prone to other complications including headaches and UTIs, and just didn’t feel well or energized much of the time.

Quite a few years ago, I switched endocrinologists.  My family doctor had had enough and bluntly asked why I wasn’t taking care of myself.  After a few bumps in the road, my relationship with my new endo and her team is fantastic and with much encouragement, I’m also working with the team at our local Type 1 diabetes centre.  My endo still looks at things through a slightly more narrow view than the clinic, but the clinic is amazing at reminding me to celebrate the small things!

About a year and a half ago I walked into an appointment and got serious.  It was time to make some changes (easy, but not simple if that makes sense to anyone who doesn’t go through the day to day rigors of monitoring their health.)  The first step we made was changing from multiple blood glucose checks (finger pokes) to a flash glucose monitoring system (Freestyle Libre) – game changer.  I could see what was going on behind the scenes and wow, what a difference.

We also started being more active and accurate in our carb counting.  We fine tuned our insulin formulas.  We made some other small changes.  And tried to find ways to disburse stress.  (Have you seen this one?  So much more than food and activity go into those highs and lows!)

I still wasn’t completely satisfied with my results, although my big picture was changing!  So I made the decision with the encouragement of my team to switch from multiple daily injections to an insulin pump.  We reduced my insulin intake from 4-8 injections, 3 different types of insulin, to a single insulin that injects steadily all day long (basal) and accommodates my carb intake with the touch of a few buttons.   It’s not been an easy transition – the time involved on this level of care and the rocky technological issues that have challenged me at times has left me frustrated – but I had another appointment with my endocrinologist today and she looked at me and said, “This is the best A1C you’ve had in years!  In three months, the improvements have been incredible and I can’t wait to see your next one.  This is where I like to see my patients.” 

So, I’m celebrating… celebrating the advances in technology, celebrating my will power to get things done, celebrating the small changes that have stacked up, celebrating the time I invest in myself.  I am not exactly where I want to be, but I’m getting closer to my destination – so inside I’m doing a great big happy dance of celebration because it’s all been worth it – my little victories are huge to me!